life in general

deep thinking about life and all it's cracked up to be...learning valuable lessons on a daily basis. each of us define love differently when the truth is, there's one definition- given in corinthians- defined by paul. you can't make it something it's not, some people show their love with money, some with acts of kindness, others with services. who's right, i don't know. to be able to accept that is real love. to know that god doesn't give you a perfect person because He and He alone should be the only one seen as perfect.
yesterday i was down, today i had the world in my hands, wondering what He has in store for me because i hate not knowing... but the future wasn't meant to be know. i'm starting to realize that this life is a dream [or for some a nightmare] and we don't wake up until we die... how ironic. i enjoy things of this world but have to focus on things of my eternity, it's difficult. in a perfect world we would predict bad things to avoid them happening but... in God's world it NEEDS to happen, for a reason, and it's wasted time if we don't embrace the experience and see the TRUTH, that's the goal... to live in truth and get closer to Him... that's what it's all about.
the devil lies- all the time. he puts things right around my block, outside my window, on my tv, in my head, everywhere... it's scary. he desensitizes you to negativity to consume your time, your life, and your mind... and then he takes your soul. now i'm strong and pretty fearless... but when i think of this it's almost scary. you think it's great when things come easy... but forget that good things never come easy. if it comes easy it comes wrong {fact}.
for the longest time i wondered why people spoke on me, hated on me, ect... and finally i'm coming to a point where i see that it  has nothing to do with me. i give love, give respect--- but everyone has a breaking point right. my flaws shine through, anyone who has been around me for a day or so sees the, clearly... on a daily basis my flaws come out. my words, my actions, my reactions, my attitude... it's not on point 100% of the time. however i realize that He gave me those too... for a reason. they allow me to see people who really love me as they do with all my flaws, and the rest fade away.
everyone has battles in life, everyone. our enviornment, our friends, our upbringing, our education, our role models, ect... they all contribute to who we become. do we realize that when we choose who and what we put in our life? who/what has created who you are? grow up with financial struggles and addictions.... who's responsibility is it to overcome that and rise above it? really, does God expect me to just "know better'? btw, these are real questions to ask yourself? you do what you know, you become what you see, you understanding is based on how people around you understand people around them... and it's a cycle. how does one come to realize where they belong...
questions i thought i had all the answers to and boy was i wrong. life is a gift but it's rough and if you don't tackle it, it will tackle you. make choice, be acocuntable, accept your failures, and have faith that He has your back no matter what. i guess you figure out the rest along the way... so i have a long journey ahead of me, I'll enjoy the ride.
good night people.