Tegan Love

There are certain people in your life, not necessarily close to you, that have huge affects on you. One of those people in my life happens to be a little boy who is very sick with Sickle Cell. I've met him only twice, known his mother for years... and every few weeks or so his name, Tegan, comes to my mind and I pray for him. He sticks to my heart over the next few days and then my thoughts drift to the chaos in front of me.
Tegan is a 2 year old future superstar... or teacher... or President... or he could be the Dr. that discovers the cure for cancer. Only God knows...
Fact is Tegan is struggling to survive, daily. He's happy and often smiles through the pain-- probably because his mother is a warrior; he sees and feels her stregnth. She's a really young single mother with limited resources trying to keep her baby boy alive--- but if you ask her she's just a normal girl who loves music and adores her son. They take pictures constantly and sing all night long. She smiles through the pain and sings though the tears. She's focused, determined, and admirable, and REFUSES to take handouts. From day one she's been right by Tegan's side and hasn't missed a beat.
She's a champ compared to me on many levels and I'm positive God will bless her with the best for her and Teg.
I've come to realize---- God put Teg in his mother's hands because He knew his mother was perfect for him. She and God have guided Teg through legnthly hospital stays, repeat visits to the ER, IV after IV, medication after medication, sickness after sickness, and through it all I'm sure they have become a stronger unit.
It's no pity party, it's loving your neighbor, understanding their struggle, and walking in their shoes for a day or so... there are several ways you can help both Teg and Mom......

• Pray for Laci--- pray that God blesses her abundantly and He guides her down the path He's laid for her. Pray that Laci accepts His will and trusts that He will never, NEVER, let her down. May seem so in some moments, but overall He has her back. Pray that Laci keeps growing as a person, as a mother, and as a young lady, that she enjoys her life and prides herself on being a phenomenal mother.
• Tegan Needs Us: Pray that Tegan is strong enough to pull through ANY sickness and that he sees the face of God when he can't feel any worst. Pray that Tegan's family steps up to the plate and help his mother, I mean really help her, because she is doing the best she can with what she's been given. I pray that Tegan finds and donor and raises money for the procedure he needs, we can all make this happen. Lord, help us make this happen! The world needs Teg.... he has so much to offer!

All in all--- as I said I've met Tegan twice... but do you see why he and his mother touch my heart and will continue to do so?

 

Prayers go up to Teg and his family----have faith- you WILL find a match! You have alot of people who truly care about you and pray for you on a daily basis.

Please everyone-------
In the mean time please go to http://giveforward.com/teganlove -- it's a great way to start!
Read his story , it will touch your life.

Donate:  what's 20.00? Junk food you buy at the gas station durung the week.
what's 30.00? skip your daily soft drink and give the money to Teg's fund.
What's 10.00? Bring lunch from home one day rather than eating fast food.

Ready- Set- Donate

Sincerely,
Rachelle Williams

New Levels- Where does your Trust lie

Have you ever met someone and days later wondered if they were God sent to teach you something...? With my job I meet lots of interesting ppl so it's a privilege to see and hear many views from successful ppl as well a those who struggle. It's literally the most broken ppl who are the most humble... And I often listen rly closely to what is said and am amazed by the peace ppl have in the midst of trials and tribulations. Personally, I freak out-- all the time-- and my life is not close to the struggle others face. Makes me think alot (as I do anyway) abt how I handle things an my attitude toward hard times. I tell myself that I trust God and know He wld never fail me... But in the moment do I believe it, prove it, show it...? & how does my lack of trust make Him feel? I believe there are several levels of faith, my grandmother for instance is one of His masterpieces and her life is proof of how He works in ppl and how far true faith will take you. Me, I'm young... And I have work to do. :) at the end of everyday I DO trust God however in moments of chrisis or struggle, even financial hardship and not being able to have what I WANT when I want it, I often look at the situation and MYSELF rather than looking UP for His guidance. I freak out, wonder why things are happening to me Or my family, get angry, bitter, frustrated... And overthink ways to "make things right." too many timea I've placed my trust in money, people, or ideas... Those things are garanteed to fail you.
Humble, complete trust---That's a new level of faith I want to complete bc I want to be humble each day and those who FULLY trust Him are humble. Life throws things at all of us, we go to church, we worship, we read His word, we praise Him, we pray... But how much do we TRULY TRUST Him.?.?
So in the midst of situations I've made a vow to look UP and do something real simple--- ask Him for help. He's there, He doesn't leave us, so it's up to us to look to Him and thank Him for ALL experiences bc He is perfect, doesn't make mistakes, so it all has a purpose.
My Mom was this way, she had moments but overall she was alwayssying that God would make a way for her... Naive and young I'd say "Mom WE make our own way..." honestly thinking that God had nothing to do with success... I always based it on skill and motivation. Again, NAIVE. Truth---God has planted seeds in me from the beginning and as I grow/improve/learn/experience I simply water them and they blossom into successes... How dare I not recognize that and THANK Him!
Today, I realize where it ALL comes from, I'm grateful, I know without Him I cld be as talented as I wanna Be, I am NOTHING. New levels of faith, I'm getting there--- giving Him
Glory... Credit where it's desired, and being the Christian I'm called to be. Trust the right One and you'll never be disappointed, He doesn't fail.
He gave me my family, motherhood, called me to be a wife, a friend, a leader, an example... And I want to be just that. At time I fall but never levels of faith are tweaked and I get back up- stronger, wiser, and better.
All glory to Him... The center of my heart, love of my life, and reason for my being...

Have a Bleased day.
Rachelle
the GLORY and trusting Him, all the time (good and bad).

Dear Devil...

Dear Devil...
I know your plan, I know your motive, and I understand what you want from me.
See, I've been here--- the closer I get to God the harder you work on me. You send ppl
Who test my patience and try and make me resort to my old self... &&& it's actually
Pretty tempting. I mean I'd feel much better by snatching some ppl up and making them
Think twice before opening their mouths again.
But... At the end of the day, when I look at MY life, MY child, and above all MY blessings
I realize it's useless. Ppl will be who they wanna be regardless... And who has to deal with
That everytime they look in the mirror, not me.
Issues, we all have them... But life is TOO SHORT to stress over ppl who speak with
Little to say, get off on hurting others, ppl who base their "womanhood" on Facebook, and hide behind a user ID and
Password.
Im not perfect... Never will be... But I'm mature enough to understand that
There is a time, place, and way to handle things.

In closing... Christ always wins over my heart, He hears my heart's cry. I pray and it all works out... It also Saves the lame ppl who test my patience.

So....... Devils get up off me, move around! If ppl
Think of me as anything but who I am... I'll laugh it off and pray I have my WWJD
Bracelet on when I see them... Bc based on position and relevance... The proof is in the pudding.
Now that's some truth for you, nothing fake abt it. If you can't love, respect, and understand me...... Too bad.
My Shuga, my husband, and my blood are my LIFE... nothing and no one can take that away, its straight from God.... get used to it. I know, it's hard right... well write it down, study it, and maybe one day you'll find peace.

Satan test me, he even wins sometimes... But we all know I come thru. The devil lies, he sneaks around, he's jealous of God's love, he causes turmoil, and above all he hates successful ppl who live with Christ in mind. Don't twist it, I can handle my own, act a fool if need be, and hurt you without touching you... But I'm above that.... I'm better today than yesterday.

So... Dear Satan, find a new soul, a new test, a new friend, and a new hobby... Bc I ain't the one. You can't beat me, God loves me way to much for that, my faith is bigger than your lies and fake promises, I love myself to much, and I depend on Him, not you. Momentarily you get some ppl, your temptation is acted on... But in the end--- you're a total loser.

Night night!
Rachelle

Have a good night.

Marriage---Ride or Die?

Decided to blog about marriage today…

I’ve been married for 4 years, 4 interesting years.

I married someone I’ve known since the age of 14, my child’s father, my best friend, and honestly someone who knows everything about me.

He is the only person on earth who knows that much about me. (Dangerous)

He is the only child by his mother and I am an only child so our household is pretty funny at times as we are both brats.

 

The best advice on marriage, if you aren’t ready, don’t do it!

I am in love but I wasn’t fully aware of the responsibilities that come with marriage. It requires attention, time, patience, devotion, love, and above all prayer. It isn’t good all the time and you have to learn to work through differences in a very unselfish way… you need to know HOW to do this. You also have to learn that marriage is between you and your spouse, no friends, kids, or family should be allowed in your business. No matter how mad, upset, or angry you get you have to seek out the best in your partner and for your partner.

Marriage gives new meaning to the term “ride or die”. LOL

 

It’s a big step and it can be a disaster if you aren’t prepared and ready for it… but it can also be beautiful. To share your life, good and bad, is fun. You have someone to walk with you through things, to make you smile, and to just be there to make you feel safe.

The Key: marry a GOOD MAN.

What a good man is not----- PERFECT. I find it funny when I hear women “search” for the right man yet they aren’t the right woman for anyone…? Don’t search for someone who doesn’t exist either. If he’s fine, rich, kidless, big home, nice car---- he ain’t SINGLE.

 

All jokes aside, marriage is a partnership. Satan works in marriages everyday… but together you have to overcome that. Be with a person who picks you up and makes you smile… someone who leads you to Christ and away from harm. Don’t settle for less than you deserve, he doesn’t need to be perfect but he needs to be smart. If he’s into other women, let him marry another woman. A man should have his mind and eyes set on you and you only. I’m not oblivious to male tendencies however I am convinced that real men, once they give their life to Christ, are able to battle any demons set before them.

As I said Satan works hard, you have to be able to walk with a man through hard times… he’s a man and WILL have them. The end result: a marriage stronger than you ever pictured, a family with a solid foundation and Christ as the head of your household. Christ put women in a man’s life for a reason, we are the emotion, the thinkers, the feelings… we lead them in areas they lack… but you have to be willing and able to do that.

 

Corinthians speaks well about marriage, I’ve read it a thousand times… here are some of my favs---

 

“Love is not self seeking, it’s not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong.” (1 Corinthians 13:5 )

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for each other.” (1 John 3:16)

1 Corinthians 13 that “love is kind,” “does not delight in evil,” and “is not self-seeking”

1 Corinthians 7:27-28, that “those who marry will face many troubles in this life.”

I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. (1 Corinthians 11:3)

 

My husband, good person, good man, good father, and good husband… not perfect but good to his family. I don’t regret sticking by his side one day and I’m grateful that he and I have been through so much, there’s history and we are strong because of it.

Satan works, but he never wins. Never. I’ve enjoyed my journey with my husband and I know we can do anything through Christ. Good times, bad times, hard times, we are one… we do whatever necessary, forsaken ALL others, and make things happen. A bond no one can break, blessed by God, and supported by people we love… it won’t fail as Love never fails.

God first, family second, everything else after…………….

Thought of the Day: If you aren’t a strong woman you WILL NOT stay married. Period.
Key: Any man can love a million girls, but only a real man can love one girl a million ways.

Have a blessed day, Rachelle

 

how to love.

sharing my expereince on love and the impact it's had on my life. i got big love, like huge, i'm hungry for love, i enjoy it, i embrace people who love me, and i believe in being loyal to people who truly care about me. i feed off of people who i love, they are my lifeline. they don't have to be perfect, they just have to be real. i pray about love, i ask all the time that God put more of it in my heart so it shines through all the darkness of my world... i believe Paul when he described it as the "greatest of all" in the bible, i always read that scripture when i wonder how hard i should love others.
my husband, wow we been through so much together, we have alot of history. met the man when iu was 13 years old and been in his presence on and off ever since. although my definition of love has changed through the years the fact that i do love him hasn't. you see until i had brooklyn my expectations weren't very high, i just wanted to be around him and that was enough for me.  today, my expectations are way higher when it comes to love. you come to love people by who they are, not what they do. so many times people have asked me "how did you do it" and i'm like one word pretty much explains it, love. i don't expect everyone to understand but i think it's important we all know a love, an unconditional love, at one point in life. it's refreshing, it's a good expereience, sometimes hard, but a good one that teaches the true value of relations God has given us.
how i did it, there's no right or wrong answer... i just did it with alot of prayer and love. at the beginning of the year someone asked me "rachelle, what is enough for you, will you ever have enough" and that answer came very easy to me you see... because when i married this man i vowed to love him as long as i have the power to do so... and God is the only person who can take that power from me; i'm convinced He will do that if He ever feels i need to get out.
you can't allow others in your space, your marriage and relationship isn't supposed to be understood by others, ever. they not supposed to be able to case your household and figure out what's going on. it's one thing to confide in a friend or seek advice when you are confused but you should pray FIRST, and the answer always lies btw you and your mate, you just have to figure it out.
in any case, love doesn't come and go. it's a process and it's not a game... someone once told me, "it's all a game and i enjoy playing it..." and all i could think was wow, i really felt sorry for her.... you are a lost soul if you think anything from God is a game much less the greatest thing He has given us. you see you can't control your spouse or his decisions, you can't control other females, but you can control the way you handle yourself, the way you love, and the way you live life in front of your family and children. you can love until God tells you to do otherwise and marriages are meant to stick together, never fall apart.
i've also been blessed with a daughter, and as with most mothers, having her made me see things from a whole different light. life changed, expectations changed, standards changed, my overall respect for myself and others changed, because i have a life in my hands. someone looking at everything i do, everything i say, and understands my thoughts and desires.... it was actually very scary for me for a long time. i had no clue on how to balance my life with hers, when to do what i wanted versus what she would want me to do. don't get me wrong, i've fell off and made selfish decisions but i've always been blessed with insight on things before they got outta hand and went to far. it's important that us mothers understand the ways we show our children, we are the center of the home and their life, they are very smart, and they KNOW. they know, took me a while to get that. i thought "she's young, she don't know" and then  I'm like she may not know today but she will one day... everything we do comes to light. when i brought her home i thought of all the things i put my parents through and was like how could i do that, these people gave me LIFE, and i just took them for granted and made such selfish decisions. i was able to relate with the pain i caused because now i had someone who i loved so deeply and knew it would kill me if she ever hurt me the way i hurt them... i still think about this often, especially now that my mom is gone. i can only p
see this is all love, coming to realize right from wrong, understanding people who care about you, and caring in return. it's a beautiful thing... but just as their is love, there is hate... and if you aren't careful the darkness of hate can consume your relationships and cloud your thoughts... and the tragedy can happy-- you become just like those that hate you. hate is so easy, anyone can hate, some are genetically made to hate (i believe) and the only cure--- absence. get them away from you and don't allow them in your space. ever. know them from a distance. satan is busy, and God gives you choices, one being to love or to hate, and our generation--- we typically do what easy.
lesson: be big today, love big, and keep haters out of your space. pray for clarity and accept people for who they are, not who you want them to be. everyone is not you, don't let actions of others determine where you go and how you live. the famous words "do you" have drastic meaning... do it and do it right. there is only one me, only one you, and  we deserve happiness, we all do. be happy, enjoy blessings, appreciate love God has given you, and learn from experiences.
today, i pray for love, i pray that it always outweigh hate, that at one point and time we all expereince true unconditional love. it's a pretty amazing feeling to have someone love you flaws and all. it's easy to love someone perfect, it takes a strong person to love through imperfections... it's a glimpse of what God goes through on a daily basis... loving imperfect people. may God bless all relationships, all marriages, and all children... that we all know love and embrace it.
be blessed, rachelle.

a special person

tonight i will blog about my mother... because i miss her and my hearts heavy and i want people to get this... anyone can give birth, anyone... but kids, especially daughters are very very reliant on their mothers to teach them their worth and value in life. my mom fought a battle for years and years and it ended up taking her life. often as a child i'd sit and ask her "can't you just stop" i had no udnerstanding of what addiction was... and because i was so strong minded i thought anyone could do anything they wanted to do. period. i didn't udnerstand the worth of a bottle and that asking an addict to make a choice is like setting yourself up for disappointment if they can't.
at 12 i found her passed out and thought she was dead, at 15 i asked her to choose and she did what she had to, at 16 i was told she wouldn't see me graduate but she did, at 19 i was told she wouldn't see me have kids but she did, at 21 i was told she wouldn't see me get married but she did that too... she saw me live my life and find happiness, she shared it with me against all odds and i feel truly blessed that God gave me the time He did... wow. see listen, God knew without my daughter and husband i'd be in the grave with her, He knows your every need before you need it... so He held her until He knew I could survive... that's powerful. am i dishonoring her name, no... i'm being real about who my mother was and stating thru it all i still love and miss her regardless. we mothers, we have a big job on this earth, our kids need us, they thrive on us, they are us. my mother loved me with all her heart, she loved EVERYONE, literally. as i said, these things happen to the BEST of people. choose wisely, today's fun can be tomorrows pain...
it's foolish actually because why would someone want to slowly take their life, it's a serious problem that very very good people have. the hard part, kids can't distinguish between their parent and their parent's issues... then parents become the issue. children are invincible and they expect their parent to be the same, we don't get it. as a 27 year old female i can honestly say this: never, not one day, do i not wish i could go back and tell my mom that she was a great person regardless of any habbit, mistake, or issues she had. you see we don't tell ppl that enough, we wait until they dead to honor them, we don't honor them when they are here. we judge them, we misunderstand them, we pull the "tough love" act, and then we are full or sorrow and guilt when they leave the earth to go home. we want to send flowers or cry at the casket rather than picking up the phone, it's sad actually. we listen to songs that honor them, we quote them, we post pictures, we keep their belongings, pray for them.....we do all this when they are GONE... what do we do when they are HERE on earth with us? you see i carry my mother's ashes in my purse but didn't even take her to the movies when she asked while here on earth, i carry her checkbook but told her no when she asked for money, i carry her drivers lisence but wouldn't take a ride to wal mart with her when she called, i pray for her on a daily basis but didn't pray for her when she was on earth . crazy right.......

make no mistake, parents have to be accountable for their actions, but they are human, as we are. they are subject to mistakes, ugly ways, addiction, death, as well as forgiveness. honestly my issue is this... i forgave my mother a long time ago, but i didn't TELL her. it's very hard to lose someone with unsaid words and feelings... because you have to wait a full life time to see them again.
death, it makes the heart hard. i've never in my life felt so hard, disturbed, or emotional about things in my life. ever. it puts fear in you, fear of getting close to people because you don't want to feel the same pain if they die. see i loved my mother from a distance for so long thinking it would prepare me for her death, not being able to see her face, and i was so foolish. now that i can love her from a distance i'd give my life to see her up close. selfish i know, but its truth.
today, right now, i see my mothers good deeds and her sweet ways and wonder why i didn't see them while she was here. why didn't i aprpeciate them, strive to do the same, understand her needs and wants, and respect her decision while still staying close to her heart. answer: fear.
how is a person who isn't scared of anything now admitting her biggest issue was fear, because it's true. i always knew my mother would leave earth the way she did, at an early age, you see i "planned" this... so i thought... so why is it so hard?
face of the matter is you can't prepare for loss, it happens and hits you like a ton of bricks. you wont understand it, you will ask questions, and even temporarily lose faith. i did for a year, wouldn't step foot in a church, i was bitter and mad at God and didn't understand why He would take my mother and Brooklyn's grandmother. i focused on the "giants" of my life (like death) rather than the seeds (like her going home to be with her Creator). i pushed people away and had so many different emotions running through me i wasn't even sure who i was for a long time. i know i'ma  Christian but i didn't get it.
my mother was an alcoholic, i can say it and smile now, i cried for 23 years about it. i can accept it and all that came with it. i can accept her decisions and respect her because the truth is every expereince, good and bad, has taught me a lesson in my life. i want to have her faith and her generosity, and if it weren't for her i wouldn't know either. she has shed so much light on life and how difficult it can be, but how the victory is way bigger than the battle. it's not about earth, it's about eternity.
i miss her, i see her face everytime i close my eyes, literally. i cry i laugh i moan i fuss i do it all. we have ONE mother, no matter where she comes from, what she does, how she lives, her choices, ect... you are a reflection of her and when she goes a peice of you will too... you can't get that back. it's a bad dream you don't wake up from. surviving it takes a daily focus, prayer and a desire to live, really live. apologize, seriously, you don't know what it's like, you don't know how fast it happens and you don't know how guilt and anger can eat the heart, kill the spirit, and consume your soul. you have no idea... today i'm in a better place. i'm part of a phenomenal church with amazing pastors who take time to pray for me, i have a family who supports me, and i have a husband who understands me. he gets it. my faith in her destination keeps me sane, because there's no question she went to heaven. none. it gives me peace to know she isn't sick anymore and there are no more financial or health problems, only peace and grace, in a kingdom that inhabits a beautiful God who is love, pure love. i take myself there, clsoe my eyes and picture her face in a kingdom full of peace because my entire life, i wanted peace for her.
it's hard... but it's life. it's His will and it isn't up to me...His plan is bigger than mine. i miss her and the selfish part of me wants her here with me and my daughter, but eternity if a perfect place for her gorgeous heart. i wish i was as forgiving, giving, and understanding as she was... love family, don't swear small things, and ask God to give grace when dealing with troubled family members.... it's worth it, trust me. Lesson: LOVE TODAY. rip to my mother...